Joe Rogan: Men too, man. Men, women, everything. That Store was a, it was an attractor, and it still is an attractor of crazy people.
JD: But when a woman comes up to you and says, “Can I talk to you for a second? You know, how do get funny? You know, I just want to be funny, and they won’t give me spots. What do I have to do to get spots here?” That’s the magic answer. When they just say that to you, “What do I need to do to get spots?” You try to beat around the bush, “Well, uh, you could write jokes, uh, you could go to a stand-up class, or you could suck my dick.” (laughing) You know what I’m saying? You got three options…
JR: (laughing) Is that what you said?
JD: Oh my god, its amazing!
JR: Well you had the one girl, you talk about her in the podcast. You sent a message, a letter, about how you broke her…
JD: Oh, broke her. And I didn’t mean to break her. She was always willing to suck my dick so… I remember her sucking my dick with dirty fingernails on night. And me going ‘this is terrible’. And this… in that little bathroom, the cubicle on the second floor. Remember the one by the phone, where you answer the phone?
JR: Yeah, totally.
JD: How many fucking blow jobs did you get in there from women who said, “If I just suck
your dick, will you put be on in the Belly Room show with you next week?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, call me.”
And they’ll just suck your dick for a fuckin’ spot. Like in The Belly Room. Like fuckin’ Steven Soderberg is going to show up…
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JD: I started going to an acting class. And you book something, and a girl sees you in acting class? Oh my god, they’re all over ya outside. “What do I need to do?”
“You need to start sucking my dick, or show me your pussy, or something.” You know how many fucking victims I had that were confused from acting class? Bro, when I was 415 pounds, like in ’98, I had this 21 year old who let me come over and fuck her in the ass. And I would fuck her in the ass and feel guilty, like, when is she going to realize I’m a fat, disgusting slob? This chick was like, “I seen you on Law & Order SUV taking the garbage out, let me suck your dick.”
“Really?” I’m a fuckin’ co-star. You know what I’m saying? You gotta hold out for the big fuckin’ stars. She was sucking co-star dick. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? I got twelve-hundred for the fuckin’ day and you’re suckin’ my dick like I’m some star.
whoa
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