10 Things in Stand-Up Comedy That Should Be Retired

2. The White Guy Voice. The white guy voice is a time honored device of degradation for minority comics to demean white guys. It has been done for a long time (and for me, my favorite spin on it is Dave Chappelle's, which sounds less corny and more super serious), but it is time to go. I made this decision when watching a high profile Latino comic's' Rosetta Stone Spanish lesson, posing as a comedy special on HBO. His special consisted of four things in equal parts: Spanish phrases, telling the difference between Latino families and white families, staring bug-eyed while rubbing the lapel of his suit jacket and doing a white voice circa 1977 comedy. Enough is enough — it is time for a new spin on this one. Retire the old one

5. "Too soon?" I know this one will be tough for a lot of people to let go so I will make a deal. Too soon still gets some laughs when properly applied (Gary Gulman's bit about a gunpowder Abe Lincoln scratch n sniff sticker comes to mind), but I would estimate, based on absolutely no scientific data other than my gut instinct, that 90 percent of jokes that end with a "too soon?" tag are actually written with the too soon in mind. So instead of relying on the strength of the joke, the so-so joke is in place to facilitate a "too soon."

7. Male vs. Female Funny Debate. I have engaged this topic with nuanced vigor to no avail. So I am here to say that I will finally admit that men and women are equally funny and equally capable of being funny. In exchange for this bold concession on my part I would just like all the people who have always supported this idea to admit that there is not a shred of tangible evidence proving the veracity of this statement. Great! So I guess we can stick a fork in this one.

10 Things in Stan Cauvin d-Up Comedy That Should Be Retired / J-L Cauvin / 09/06/2012