Brian M. Palmer: That must have been tough.
Zach Galifianakis: No, I didn't work very long, maybe just a couple weeks. And then I cleaned houses, I was a nanny, a private investigator, and then a bus boy. They were all pretty bad. But if I had a comfortable job I don't know if I would have turned to something like stand-up. I started doing stand-up because I don't have any skills; I don't know what else to do. They were all bad. I was a waiter at a drag queen restaurant in New York that was owned by Kurdish rebels. I remember that — his name was Talib — and he tried to get me to dress as a woman. He'd call me on the phone and he'd be like, “Ok Zach, this is Talib, your schedule is you work Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and don't forget to dress as woman.” And I'm like, “Talib, I'm not going to dress as a woman. That's not my thing.” And he'd say, “You'd make more money.” And I was like, “Why is there a guy from small town North Carolina talking to a Kurdish rebel about dressing like a woman?” It was so bizarre, but that was the state of my work experience. I would work there from 7 at night ‘til 7 in the morning. And then at 8 in the morning I would go baby-sit and just fall asleep. I would just fall asleep and hope that the kid wouldn't escape his duct tape handcuffs.
BMP: I read that one of the kids said that if you didn't let him watch TV he would say that you touched him.
ZG: Oh yeah, one of the kids that I was a nanny for said, “If you don't do what I say, I'm going to tell my mom that you're touching my penis.”
BMP: And did you just let him do what he wanted to?
ZG: No, I touched his penis, right after that. I was like, “Well, if you're going to run your mouth about it, here comes my mouth.” No, what happened is I freaked out about it and called all my friends and I was like, “What should I do?” and they were like, “You've gotta tell his mom.” Years later — last summer actually I was back in New York — I called them and I went over to dinner and all this stuff. I told the mother and she laughed — she thought it was so funny — and said, “That sounds just like my son.” I told him and he didn't remember. But yeah, he said it. He stood up right in front of his TV, “Beavis and Butthead” was blaring and he pointed right at me, and said it.
Zach Galifianakis Interview / by Brian M. Palmer / 2004
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Friday, August 10, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
WTF with Marc Maron / Episode 275 - Chelsea Handler
Marc Maron: When you did stand up, how much stand up did you really do? I mean, how many years were you doing it? When you were touring? Were you ever a draw? As just a stand up? Before the shows?
Chelsea Handler: Yeah, I was headlining before I got my show. Clubs and stuff. I started doing stand up when I was 21. I did my first week on the road with Zach Galifianakis and Dave Attell in San Francisco at The Punch Line. Which was the funniest week of my life. And I was really bad.
MM: Was Attell headlining?
CH: Yeah. And Zach was middling and I opened.
MM: Wow.
CH: I was really bad. But I got good, I mean it takes a long time to get good at stand up. It takes a long time. And I didn't get good until I had to. Until I was headlining. Like I didn't have an hour until I had to have an hour.
WTF with Marc Maron / Episode 275 - Chelsea Handler / aprox 00:29:00
Chelsea Handler: Yeah, I was headlining before I got my show. Clubs and stuff. I started doing stand up when I was 21. I did my first week on the road with Zach Galifianakis and Dave Attell in San Francisco at The Punch Line. Which was the funniest week of my life. And I was really bad.
MM: Was Attell headlining?
CH: Yeah. And Zach was middling and I opened.
MM: Wow.
CH: I was really bad. But I got good, I mean it takes a long time to get good at stand up. It takes a long time. And I didn't get good until I had to. Until I was headlining. Like I didn't have an hour until I had to have an hour.
WTF with Marc Maron / Episode 275 - Chelsea Handler / aprox 00:29:00
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank #35: The Jew, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (Moshe Kasher)
Ari Shaffir: I used to think about (Mitch) Hedberg and stuff… why didn’t anyone get him help? Because everyone was doing drugs. They’re like, we’re all doing it…
Moshe Kasher: And its helping Hedberg look cool. Its bad. That’s the bad nature of this beast.
AS: Somebody, that same year in Montreal, somebody they know from here was in the film part and they saw some older, not older older, but like a little older, respected stand up comic and a bunch of people doing coke with him in a bathroom. And just saying, ick, all these comics are trying to do coke with this guy. And he was just like, “Blech.” And just turned around and left.
MK: Yeah, that’s funny, “Dude, I did coke with this guy! Whoa!”
AS: Way to go man, you did it!
MK: Congrats. I see, I don’t know if you see this, with younger comics. I’ve seen this sort of, this thing where they’re trying to become like desperate alcoholics.
AS: Oh yeah, because its cool.
MK: On stage.
AS: Its like, “I want to be Bukowski.” But you’re not one.
MK: They want to affect the kind of…
AS: They’re bragging about pain they don’t have.
MK: The nihilistic blight relationship with society that like Stanhope or Kyle Kinane have.
AS: But they don’t really have it. They’re just sort of trying…
MK: But they will!
AS: Hopefully, if they keep going.
MK: They probably won’t be as funny as Doug and Kyle but they’ll get there. I mean, you can get there. You know, and the other thing is, by the way, Kyle and Stanhope are very successful because they work super hard. It’s a flawed concept. But I just hate when I see some like 24 year old comic like, “I mostly just drink, man, because life fucks…” Get out of here.
AS: You’re just drinking because you’re a fuck up. Or because you’re a frat guy.
MK: You’re angst is fake and you’re alcoholism is fake but soon neither will be fake but you’re career will be non-existent.
AS: Soon you’ll need 5 beers before you get on stage.
Moshe Kasher: And its helping Hedberg look cool. Its bad. That’s the bad nature of this beast.
AS: Somebody, that same year in Montreal, somebody they know from here was in the film part and they saw some older, not older older, but like a little older, respected stand up comic and a bunch of people doing coke with him in a bathroom. And just saying, ick, all these comics are trying to do coke with this guy. And he was just like, “Blech.” And just turned around and left.
MK: Yeah, that’s funny, “Dude, I did coke with this guy! Whoa!”
AS: Way to go man, you did it!
MK: Congrats. I see, I don’t know if you see this, with younger comics. I’ve seen this sort of, this thing where they’re trying to become like desperate alcoholics.
AS: Oh yeah, because its cool.
MK: On stage.
AS: Its like, “I want to be Bukowski.” But you’re not one.
MK: They want to affect the kind of…
AS: They’re bragging about pain they don’t have.
MK: The nihilistic blight relationship with society that like Stanhope or Kyle Kinane have.
AS: But they don’t really have it. They’re just sort of trying…
MK: But they will!
AS: Hopefully, if they keep going.
MK: They probably won’t be as funny as Doug and Kyle but they’ll get there. I mean, you can get there. You know, and the other thing is, by the way, Kyle and Stanhope are very successful because they work super hard. It’s a flawed concept. But I just hate when I see some like 24 year old comic like, “I mostly just drink, man, because life fucks…” Get out of here.
AS: You’re just drinking because you’re a fuck up. Or because you’re a frat guy.
MK: You’re angst is fake and you’re alcoholism is fake but soon neither will be fake but you’re career will be non-existent.
AS: Soon you’ll need 5 beers before you get on stage.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Comedy and Everything Else Episode #137: Jimmy Pardo
Jimmy Pardo: The first time was great (working as a warm up for The Tonight Show). Just like stand up. The first time was great. I went out there, "Welcome The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien!" I was on fire. Some woman said something in the audience, like immediately... you know that's like my bread and butter. I mean, 20 years of working the audience, so I improvised off of what this woman said and I looked like a genius. The 12 minutes flew by and they went, "Jimmy, we're ready." What? And I came off like, "Holy Shit, Here we go!".
And then the next day was awful. I came out and I'm mumbling. I stumbled through the rules I had to give. I went up in the audience because that's how I've seen how warm-ups done it in the past. Walking up and down the stairs and getting to know people. Which then I realized is alienating 250 people on the other side of the theater/studio.
So I just made some mistakes. And then a guy blogged about it. He goes, "I went to the taping, the second taping of Conan, and it starts out... some jerk walks out on the stage and just yells at us and then Andy comes out and they try to riff but they can't because this guy has no talent. Andy was funny, but this guy couldn't keep up..." Just like, wow. And he wasn't wrong! Like, I stunk. He was right!
And that happened on a Thursday. And then we weren't going to be doing another show until the next week so I had like 4 days inbetween of going, "Oh, I kinda like this job." But the agreement was if they like me and I like them, I'll keep the job. And its like, well they have every right not to like me after that. That was awful.
So I spent 4 days panicked. "Oh, this great gig. Conan O'Brien! The Tonight Show." Now I'm going to lose it because I stunk. And luckily, you know, they kept me on. And I was there for the 7 months of The Tonight Show. And as I've said, somewhat maudlin-like, my dream was to grow up and host The Tonight Show. And I got pretty stinking close. Ridiculous. I'm not hosting it in any shape or form. But you know what? I got to go on the stage of The Tonight Show and do it every day.
Comedy and Everything Else Episode #137: Jimmy Pardo / aprox 1:04:00
(thanks Mark)
And then the next day was awful. I came out and I'm mumbling. I stumbled through the rules I had to give. I went up in the audience because that's how I've seen how warm-ups done it in the past. Walking up and down the stairs and getting to know people. Which then I realized is alienating 250 people on the other side of the theater/studio.
So I just made some mistakes. And then a guy blogged about it. He goes, "I went to the taping, the second taping of Conan, and it starts out... some jerk walks out on the stage and just yells at us and then Andy comes out and they try to riff but they can't because this guy has no talent. Andy was funny, but this guy couldn't keep up..." Just like, wow. And he wasn't wrong! Like, I stunk. He was right!
And that happened on a Thursday. And then we weren't going to be doing another show until the next week so I had like 4 days inbetween of going, "Oh, I kinda like this job." But the agreement was if they like me and I like them, I'll keep the job. And its like, well they have every right not to like me after that. That was awful.
So I spent 4 days panicked. "Oh, this great gig. Conan O'Brien! The Tonight Show." Now I'm going to lose it because I stunk. And luckily, you know, they kept me on. And I was there for the 7 months of The Tonight Show. And as I've said, somewhat maudlin-like, my dream was to grow up and host The Tonight Show. And I got pretty stinking close. Ridiculous. I'm not hosting it in any shape or form. But you know what? I got to go on the stage of The Tonight Show and do it every day.
Comedy and Everything Else Episode #137: Jimmy Pardo / aprox 1:04:00
(thanks Mark)
Monday, August 6, 2012
Joe Rogan Experience #223: Bobcat Goldthwait
Joe Rogan: Can you watch people bomb?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah, I have no problem watching…
JR: It doesn’t bother you at all?
BG: Oh, it feels right. You know. Like watching people eat
shit is probably one of the few things that entertains me in a comedy club.
JR: Really?
BG: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have no compassion for them. You
know, I think its great. I love to watch someone eat shit.
JR: Why is that?
BG: Because, because, here’s the thing. Here’s something
that at one point I took really serious and you’re trying to think that its
just easy. Or you’re just thinking that…
JR: How about if they’re just bombing. They don’t have to be
thinking that…
BG: Again, like a talented comedian bombing is hilarious,
you know?
JR: Is it really?
BG: Oh my god, Kevin Meaney bombing is the funniest fucking
thing on the planet.
JR: I can see that he’s very animated, very funny guy.
BG: It’s the best. Kevin Meaney bombing, “(singing) I don’t
care if my jokes don’t go over…”
JR: But that’s just Kevin Meaney. That’s not even real
bombing. He’s singing. He’s having a joyous time. Real bombing is not knowing
what’s coming next… you’re just eating it up there… you can’t remember your
material and your fucking mouth is dry… bricks of shit are tumbling out of your
mouth and you’re trying to pass them off as gold to the crowd… overhyping every
fucking premise ‘cause, “This is the one that’s going to turn this set around.”
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Pitchfork Interview: Aziz Ansari
Carrie Battan: Audiences sometimes treat comedy shows like sporting events.
Aziz Ansari: You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play. It bums me out that people don't really respect it as an art form as much as they should. If you're in a comedy club here, people are eating wings and shit. Texting. If you went to a play, no one would be texting during the show. Every show I do, someone at some point starts texting, even after I make a scene about it, saying, "Please don't do it, I'm begging you. It's distracting, please don't." It's nuts. If you're sitting there flashing a thing in my face, that's gonna distract me. Stand-up has rhythms, it's like a performance.
In the U.S., critics don't really come to review stand-up shows. In England, they really treat it like it's an art form, and it's reviewed very properly; I did Dangerously Delicious in London and read a review afterwards that was very thoughtful. Here, writers usually come and take three jokes and misquote them. Or they write a preview: "This guy's comin' to town! He's talked about this in the past, what's he gonna talk about this time?" I wish comedy were treated like the way it's treated in England here.
CB: Do you crave that critical feedback cycle?
AA: Ultimately, you get your feedback right away with stand-up, more so than in any art form. You get feedback every second. But if you're a guy like me or Louis [C.K.] or Patton [Oswalt], it's a lot of work to do an hour-long show. There's not really any kind of recognition for stand-up; if you put out an album, you can get a Grammy or something, I guess.
Pitchfork Interview: Aziz Ansari / By Carrie Battan / July 22, 2012
Aziz Ansari: You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play. It bums me out that people don't really respect it as an art form as much as they should. If you're in a comedy club here, people are eating wings and shit. Texting. If you went to a play, no one would be texting during the show. Every show I do, someone at some point starts texting, even after I make a scene about it, saying, "Please don't do it, I'm begging you. It's distracting, please don't." It's nuts. If you're sitting there flashing a thing in my face, that's gonna distract me. Stand-up has rhythms, it's like a performance.
In the U.S., critics don't really come to review stand-up shows. In England, they really treat it like it's an art form, and it's reviewed very properly; I did Dangerously Delicious in London and read a review afterwards that was very thoughtful. Here, writers usually come and take three jokes and misquote them. Or they write a preview: "This guy's comin' to town! He's talked about this in the past, what's he gonna talk about this time?" I wish comedy were treated like the way it's treated in England here.
CB: Do you crave that critical feedback cycle?
AA: Ultimately, you get your feedback right away with stand-up, more so than in any art form. You get feedback every second. But if you're a guy like me or Louis [C.K.] or Patton [Oswalt], it's a lot of work to do an hour-long show. There's not really any kind of recognition for stand-up; if you put out an album, you can get a Grammy or something, I guess.
Pitchfork Interview: Aziz Ansari / By Carrie Battan / July 22, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Steve Byrne Interview
Melissa Parker: Do you believe that comedy can be a natural talent?
Steve Byrne: Of course, yeah. There are people I meet all the time that crack me up. But to have a conversation with just a group of friends … there’s some comfort to that and no real risk in it. It’s separate because when you’re doing standup you don’t have that camaraderie or that relationship already built in. These people know you, they feel comfortable with you and you with them.
Standup is just taking a raw idea and telling it to a bunch of strangers. These people don’t know you at all, but you have to see if you can communicate and elicit that one emotion which is laughter. It’s more difficult than just sitting with your buddies and cracking jokes.
-----------
Melissa Parker: You’re on tour now?
Steve Byrne: I’ve been touring literally for 5 years straight. I think I’ve had 6 weeks off in 5 years. It’s been pretty grueling. You hear bands or musical artists say, “Oh, I’m on tour for 3 months and it’s brutal.” I’ve been on tour for 5 years and have no sympathy for them.
Steve Byrne Interview: Hot Comic on the Premiere of His Comedy Central Special ‘The Byrne Identity’ / Smashing Interviews Magazine / JULY 23, 2010
Steve Byrne: Of course, yeah. There are people I meet all the time that crack me up. But to have a conversation with just a group of friends … there’s some comfort to that and no real risk in it. It’s separate because when you’re doing standup you don’t have that camaraderie or that relationship already built in. These people know you, they feel comfortable with you and you with them.
Standup is just taking a raw idea and telling it to a bunch of strangers. These people don’t know you at all, but you have to see if you can communicate and elicit that one emotion which is laughter. It’s more difficult than just sitting with your buddies and cracking jokes.
-----------
Melissa Parker: You’re on tour now?
Steve Byrne: I’ve been touring literally for 5 years straight. I think I’ve had 6 weeks off in 5 years. It’s been pretty grueling. You hear bands or musical artists say, “Oh, I’m on tour for 3 months and it’s brutal.” I’ve been on tour for 5 years and have no sympathy for them.
Steve Byrne Interview: Hot Comic on the Premiere of His Comedy Central Special ‘The Byrne Identity’ / Smashing Interviews Magazine / JULY 23, 2010
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