Bobcat Goldthwait: I have a blue collar background so my whole thing is actually trying to go out and do a show for people, you know? I mean, it sounds corny and stuff but if you're there to see me I try to work really hard. Now if I end up on a bill with other comics then I don't mind screwing around. You know what I mean. On Comic Relief I would dress up as Christ and do magic tricks, you know, "Water to wine, wine to water, tap the deck, and back to rice again." And I was The Amazing Christo and stuff. That's an example of me just having fun. But if you come out to see my show I am going to work really hard. I mean, you don't want to disappoint people that have actually paid to see you.
Joe Rogan: I feel the exact same way and I know what you're saying about, "It sounds kinda corny." But its admirable. That's the relationship, that's how its supposed to be. They're paying and you wanna do the best fucking possible job you can. Just the fact that you're asking people to pay to hear you talk sounds ridiculous.
BG: You gotta work really hard. But my friend John Evens and I always say this and its kind of true... Unfortunately in comedy, you're trying to keep the dumbest person in the room occupied. You know what I'm saying?
Bobcat Goldthwait: Yeah, I have no problem watching…
JR: It doesn’t bother you at all?
BG: Oh, it feels right. You know. Like watching people eat
shit is probably one of the few things that entertains me in a comedy club.
JR: Really?
BG: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have no compassion for them. You
know, I think its great. I love to watch someone eat shit.
JR: Why is that?
BG: Because, because, here’s the thing. Here’s something
that at one point I took really serious and you’re trying to think that its
just easy. Or you’re just thinking that…
JR: How about if they’re just bombing. They don’t have to be
thinking that…
BG: Again, like a talented comedian bombing is hilarious,
you know?
JR: Is it really?
BG: Oh my god, Kevin Meaney bombing is the funniest fucking
thing on the planet.
JR: I can see that he’s very animated, very funny guy.
BG: It’s the best. Kevin Meaney bombing, “(singing) I don’t
care if my jokes don’t go over…”
JR: But that’s just Kevin Meaney. That’s not even real
bombing. He’s singing. He’s having a joyous time. Real bombing is not knowing
what’s coming next… you’re just eating it up there… you can’t remember your
material and your fucking mouth is dry… bricks of shit are tumbling out of your
mouth and you’re trying to pass them off as gold to the crowd… overhyping every
fucking premise ‘cause, “This is the one that’s going to turn this set around.”
Christopher Baker: Is it tough to stay grounded when you’re now living in Los Angeles?
Bobcat Goldthwait: LA is a funny place. My daughter went to a very private school in LA and people always ask me, “Was she treated differently because you’re in show business?” But in LA, being Bobcat Goldthwait’s daughter is not a big deal at all. The other kids would be like {in a snotty kid’s voice}, “Oh, Bobcat Goldthwait’s your dad? My dad canceled his show.” Everybody is somebody there.
There’s this funny thing that country music stars do the most. They say {in a mocking twangy, country singer voice}, “You know I just try to keep it real and I just live here in this small town and I don’t go to Holly-weird.” But if you’re in show business, Los Angeles is the most humbling place on the planet. It doesn’t matter who you are; you’re just another guy that works in show business. When you refuse to sell out and live in a small town, you’re the biggest guy there.
Bobcat Goldthwait: I have been trying to go a little easier on the celebrity bashing just because...
Tom Green: Who are the celebrities you like to bash the most?
BG: I really don’t, and I used to do that, you know what I’m saying, it used to make me feel…, but usually when I’m bashing a celebrity I’m, uh you know, like the other day, this is a true story, I was in Staples over in Studio City, and uh, I look, I go, “Who’s that fat guy dressed as Dice Clay in 2010”, and I go, “oh, it is Dice Clay”. And, and he, here’s the difference: like if you saw me, right, I would just be walking around going ‘hey, how are ya’ and he’s actually going ‘ehhhhh, I need some TO-ner, dehhhh;. You know, and you’re like, “Wow, really man? Really, you need that much attention?” (in Dice’s Voice) “Where’s your THREE-HOLE-PA-PER? Ehhhhh.”
I was like, so I whip out my phone cause I want to get a picture of him and I’m thinking how dada is this? I really hope someone comes behind me going, “Oh my god…”, like Emos going, “There’s Bobcat taking a picture of Dice,” like, like, how many Russian Dolls are inside there?
TG: But that’s who Dice is though. Just that, that is who Dice is…
BG: But then he ruins it for us other persona comedians. Cause he, you know, cause they… you know Andy Kaufman was a huge, you know, influence on me or even Steve Martin, you know you’d watch him and so for folks to not understand that these were personas that people came up with… but what I’m learning is that people really… There’s two things, they can’t separate them and the other thing is that they really don’t want to separate them.
Because it’s like, the last two movies I made went to Sundance and its much easier for people to go, “Bobcat Goldthwait made a movie, Bleh Bloo Bleh” and then they, their brains, they can’t, they go, “We already thought you were a, awww we wanted you to be a just, a fucking, a trivia thing. We just wanted you to be the loud screaming retard from Police Academy. Now you made a movie at Sundance, fuck, we’ve already figured you out who you were, what do you mean you’re making… goddammit, this is confusing!”
So you know, I don’t care, I just keep doing what I’m doing.
Bobcat Goldthwait: I used to always dig a hole for myself, you know. I did a bunch of dates opening for Nirvana and the first one I did I was in Chicago and Michael Jordan had retired from basketball. And uh, I don’t know anything about sports and neither did Nirvana. We’re like going, “What the fuck is going on”, cause everyone had these homemade sheets and signs that said, “We still love you Michael”. And we’re going, “What?”, and so it was explained to us. (laughs) It was explained to Kurt and I why the town was so upset.
So, um, I walked out in front of a crowd there to see Nirvana and I go, “Hey, I feel bad for Michael Jordan but you know for 40 million dollars a year I’d shoot my own dad in the fuckin head.” And, um, the noise wasn’t even a ‘boo’, it was just ‘Deh!’, it was, it was fuck you, kill him, get him, all at the same time, ‘DEH!’ was the noise.
And I go, “Eh, all you punk rock fans, fuck you, your mom and dad dropped you off in a mini-van, you can, you know fuck off…”, and uh, I said, “I’ll talk all night and you’ll never see your precious Nirvanas.” And then, you know, as I walked past Kurt he was the only one laughing. (laughs)
Tom Green: Sure.
BG: I also, I remember the pit stopped moving, but like there was all this bustling trying to get up to the front, and I said that and it was just like, “Hey man…”
TG: But its almost like, you know that’s the ultimate moment of, of, you know, you’ve pissed off the entire audience and you walk by and Kurt Cobain is sitting there laughing, that’s you know, that’s, you know…
BG: But here’s the thing, I think you can understand this too, it’s like, you know Robin Williams is a good friend of mine and I think he really wants the whole world to go, “Hey Robin, you’re the funniest guy and you’re, you know…”, and he’s the closest you’re going to get, right, to getting that. And I’m like, I’ve always like, well I don’t, he and I would do shows together and people would go how did it go last night? And I go, “Robin Williams showed up, he did a show, it was great”, and then they go, “Fuckin Bobcat was there, do you know what he said?”. And I was saying to Robin, I go, “I own them, you know, they’re still fuckin pissed off at my set and meanwhile you know they just think you’re a great guy.”
You know, and um, I’ve gotten past that a little bit.
